Girl, It's Not Just You

The Colour of Beauty

2010-06-20T17:26:00.002+01:00

Real Beauty

2010-06-08T14:24:00.001+01:00

Name: Wande Alugo
Tell us a bit about yourself. Who is Wande and how did Wande's World start?
Wande is a young girl who adores beauty, and empowering women to help benefit their lives. At the moment I am currently in University so I am working on my own life lol.

Wande's World started out as a venture, and I was constantly being asked about beauty products, and at times I could spend hours on the phone, twitter, facebook, explaining what's good, and what's not.

So to save myself time I decided to write a blog on what's hot and what's not in beauty.

In your opinion, are black women well represented in the beauty industry?
They are not represented at all, but what some brands do is that they try to perhaps use one woman of colour in a campaign and think the problem is solved eg. Vogue's Issue on black women.

However as Women of Colour when entering the Beauty Industry, in fact any competitive industry you always have to work 10 times harder.

What do you think is the most beautiful thing about being a Black woman?
The beautiful thing about being a woman of colour is that we do not age, till today I get shocked when people tell me their age.

Although we do need sun cream, yes I have said it Women of Colour need sun cream!!!!!! We do not need tons and tons like other races may!!

As I always say Black is Beautiful!!

Any beauty tips you'd like to leave us with?
Always use eye cream; it helps to define eyes, reduces circles, and for me personally your eyeshadow or any eye make up for that matter will POP!!!

Find Wande at:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wandes-World/223074272735?v=info&ref=search#!/pages/Wandes-World/223074272735?v=info&ref=search
http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwandesworld&h=d7a3c
http://www.twitter.com/wandesworld
http://www.wandesworld.com and
http://www.myspace.com/wandesworld

Thank God I'm Natural

2010-05-12T15:44:00.000+01:00

Way overdue review here.

Thank God I'm Natural by Chris-Tia E. Donaldson is a natural hair handbook/bible/manual. I know reviews should look at negatives but I didn't find any with this book! It made me want to take extra special care of my hair. It's realistic and down-to-earth in that even though it's specifically written for people with natural hair, it's useful for people with perms and weaves too. It's very clearly and coherently written and it's also quite personal because she's very honest and open about her own (sometimes painful) journey to natural hair and how lost she got in trying to reign in her natural hair.

Among many other topics, Chris-Tia gives a historical explanation of how black women's hair conceptions have been formed. No matter where on this earth you are from, as a black woman you're bound to identify with one or more aspects of this historical account. She also questions the safety of hair relaxers. This was the main concern I myself had and it's what forced me to go natural. We still don't officially know how un/safe relaxers are!
She also has an entire chapter for transitioners in there so it's useful for anyone who's considering whether they should go natural, what transitioning will entail and what kind of options are available to transitioners.
Chris-Tia discusses the root causes of and treatments of hair loss, an issue that's rarely talked about except for by people affected by it. She also goes through natural hair remedies based on hair type.

Also, this book gave me a real education on locks. Among other things I discovered that cutting them off completely is not the only way to get unlocked. *Now that I think about it, I should have known there had to be other options but...ah well*

There's so much information packed into TGIN's 254 pages that it's hard to believe it could be such an easy read but it is because everything is explained in such simple terms.

"Yes, I could look like Beyonce, Ashanti, or any girl in a rap video for a mere $24.99. But with that terrific flexibility and variety came a hefty price -- paranoia. What if my wig was on crooked or if, heaven forbid, a mighty gust of Chicago wind came and carried my precious hairpiece right down Michigan Avenue?"

"My natural hair journey has taught me many lessons -- but most importantly, that we, as black women, must embrace our unique differences and traits and no longer be ashamed of who we truly are. It has taken me close to twenty-five years to accept my hair for what it really is, but now, I can finally say, THANK GOD I'M NATURAL!"

Thank God I'm Natural is available for purchase on amazon.co.uk or amazon.com. For UK naturals, it's also now available in Waterstone's bookstores.

TGIN

2010-04-27T23:18:00.000+01:00

Got this email a few minutes ago and wanted to share it with you guys. I'm reading TGIN at a shameful snail's pace! Got the book (and a cute bag) from the author Chris-Tia and I'm gonna finish it soon and share the best bits with you. I can't even claim to be crazy busy, it's just pure bad time management!! I will get thru it soon but in the meantime, especially for UK people...

Thank God I'm Natural: The Ultimate Guide to Caring for and Maintaining Your Natural Hair is now available in the UK in at Waterstone's bookstores and online at www.amazon.co.uk .

About the Book

THANK GOD I'M NATURAL is a must-read for any black woman who has suffered hair loss or breakage caused by relaxers -- or has grown tired of spending thousands of dollars and her Saturday afternoons frying her kinky tresses into submission.

Featuring the advice of celebrity stylists for Jill Scott, Lauryn Hill, and Erykah Badu (among others), Thank God I'm Natural offers up to date information -- and a plethora of tips to help women break free from wigs, weaves, and damaging chemical processes. While there is no shortage of information on this topic to be found on the Internet, Thank God I'm Natural is the most comprehensive natural hair guide on the market today, and the book black women need now more than ever before.

If you buy just one natural hair book this summer, make it this one. You won't want to do your hair again until you've read this lifesaving, reference book and heartfelt narrative from cover to cover.

What UK Naturals are Saying . . .

"A big 'thankyou' for writing such a great book. I got it for Christmas from my fiance (after giving a little hint...you know how we do it..lol) It is soimformative/funny/and the receipe and salon section is such a good idea." - Rachel B.

"Thank God I'm Natural (TGIN) is one of those milestone books. Packed with pictures for hairstyle ideas and how-to keep your hair healthy and conditioned, TGIN ticks many boxes. It is extremely well-researched. . .I recommend any woman passionate about natural hair to read this book." --Charcoal Ink (UK)

"I would recommend this book to everyone, veterans, newbies and those in between. There is so much to learn from this book, you might find yourself rethinking your hair practices and looking deeper into why you went natural. I also recommend this book to anyone thinking of going natural. It will answer pretty much every question you have and help smoothe your journey." -- Leave in the Kinks, Miss Fizz

"I love your book...its so informative! It was given to me as a present and I have recommended it to so many other naturals!" - Care for Your Hair, Pelumni Rae.

Real Beauty

2010-03-14T21:28:00.001Z

Name: Rhonda Jones

Motherhood is good for the body and mind with lots of love and support from family and community. Mothers that are not supported often endure stress and fatigue which wear down the mind and body because caring for children is physically and emotionally exhausting. The job is never done and it leaves little time to nurture oneself. Being the mother of four beautiful boys has given me more confidence but I've never been more tired in my life. Mothering is definitely the hardest job I've ever had because of its constant emotional and physical demands. Paradoxically, it's also been the most joyous experience of my life because I'm constantly reinforced with hugs, kisses, compliments and love everyday. Before having children I was somewhat shy but after mothering for nine years I am no longer afraid to share my thoughts. The unconditional love of my children has made me more sure of myself and more confident in my ability to live my dreams. They inspire me to be my very best and I want to make them proud. I keep my body is strong, fit and flexible by practicing yoga several times a week. I'm almost 40 but I'm fast enough to challenge them on the soccer field and agile enough to surprise them on the basketball court. Motherhood has not only given me more confidence but its taught me patience and the importance of prayer and affirmation. Motherhood reminds me to stop and smell the roses, to overlook the 'small-stuff' and live fully in this moment. Most importantly, motherhood has brought me to God. Before I had children I believed in God but I didn't feel God. As soon as I held my twins almost ten years ago, I felt a connection with God. He's alive in my heart to this day and I am blessed to see Him in my children everyday.

The biggest obstacle I've experienced as a mother of young children is balancing work and family obligations. Before becoming a mother, I always thought I would spend as much of my time as I could with my children. I actually wanted to raise them. Yet, like many women, I've had to choose between going to work and sending my children to school or daycare for more than ten hours per day or finding a way to spend that time with them. Over the years, I worked outside the home, I worked from home, I've home schooled and I've sent them to school. Regardless of what I did I had to weigh spending time with them or earning an adequate income to support them. This juggling act is a real catch-22 especially for the two-thirds of Black American mothers who are raising their children alone. It's no wonder that women and children are the poorest of the poor, worldwide. Here are some sobering statistics:

Two thirds of all illiterate individuals are females. 70% of the world’s poor are women, while women represent only 1% of the worlds wealthy. Women are paid 30% to 40% less than male employees, even though statistics show that they work 67% of the world’s working hours. 840 million individuals go malnourished around the world, 450 million women of reproductive age are disable due to malnutrition even though women produce 80% of the food in Africa and 50% of the food in South Asia.

What I love most about being a black woman is knowing that we are the mitochondrial mothers, we gave birth to the Earth! We are survivors. Despite the media misrepresentations, the discrimination and the hardships, we continue to thrive. One of my favorite books is: Black Women for Beginners by Saundra Sharp. She writes, "There's a Black Woman on each of the seven continents and in almost every country. So no matter where you go, she's already been there." Black women have even traveled to the moon and back! Knowing this helps me to remember that if my mind can conceive it, then I can achieve it as my fore-mothers have done from ancient times to the present.

Real Beauty

2010-02-02T16:08:00.000Z

Name: Tumi Jegede

Name an obstacle(s) that black women are presented with and how you think they can overcome that obstacle.

I believe an obstacle that black women are presented with is definitely their own self-image. I believe our biggest enemy is ourselves, and of course this could be said for any other type of woman on earth - however we are different because we don't get much external confirmation or validation of our beauty, or congratulation of our efforts. Black women easily become stereotyped and we even buy into those stereotypes. I have found myself thinking my group of friends were slightly aggressive in the way they expressed their opinions, shouting and getting excited, to only think, this is how any bunch of women would act if they were outspoken, confident and very excited.

The obstacle I mentioned earlier is very personal because I find my daily actions subliminally apologising for being black, and it's only recently that I've identified that maybe some of my subtleties come from fear of being sorted into the category of angry black woman. This issue is not directly imposed by the people around me, because who am I to say that this pressure is imagined, since it's not actually there - instead I am pre-empting it in order to prevent it. I am desperately trying to show the world that we are not all outspoken and overly sexual even though sometimes I want to flaunt my figure or to laugh loudly or throw a fit at the cashier when they are mistreating me.

Returning to the initial point about self-implaced obstacles, I'm referring to the statistics practically every black woman I have spoken to holds dear, almost like a cushion, we pad ourselves with these facts, that state that we are at the bottom of the pyramid - well by whose standards.

I am a great believer in God and miracles, I believe in dreams and I believe in change. I don't live my life navigating using statistics as my guide. Of course there are those things that research and statistics are useful for like crime rates or areas where the house prices are likely to be high etc., however I don't see any reason to aim high if you truly believe that you are the lowest of things, and the ease at which black women tell me this disappoints me. This is one of the very few things I choose to live in ignorance of, I mean what does it add to my life?

My mother is a fantastic example of against the odds, and I see a future of women like her, who are the top in their game and no longer against the odds, but instead the odds. This is not a dream but a reality for me, and if you try to say to me that this is highly unlikely well I will quickly relocate to somewhere more positive, with positivity I believe you can make things more possible.

What do you love most about being a black woman?

I haven't seen myself as being a black woman in a long time, in fact I consider myself firstly as a human being, and then an African and then a woman. I don't know why my mind thinks this way, but I love being an African woman because I like the fact that my traditions are still very private, and I chose to claim them as my own. Many other traditions have been adopted all over the world, which I guess credit to them, because it means something there works, but I like knowing that my secluded area in the world does things a different way and I chose to stand out even more.

I love standing out, and I guess that's what I love the most about being a black woman, I love, love, love, love my hair. I have never hated my hair. My hair and myself have always been best friends. I have been playing with my hair and doing it myself for a long long time and we have a great relationship. (My scalp on the other hand is another story).

I think it's very important for this generation of women to encourage their daughters to love themselves, their true black selves :). Love their skin, their hair.

I have heard too many stories of mothers relaxing the hair of their toddlers or adding hair extensions.

Our children don't have to look like super models, it is much more beneficial to learn to love yourself, than to learn to change yourself into what you love, because you may never look the way you want to look.

How influential have your friends been to your life and how do know you've found a good one?

It's funny you ask this question because I am currently going through a phase of sorting through my friends. This always happens to me when I meet someone new who is like a breath of fresh air and reminds me of the me I used to be - or could be.
Well, I recently met someone like this, and we talked about friendship and I just struggled to understand where the line should be drawn, I mean when do you know to accept your friend's quirks or to stay away from things that could rub off on you.

I constantly struggle with being a better person and it is one of my major priorities. I would trade it for wealth anyday, so it is really important to me that I surround myself with people who are kind. I have an internal compass and I can always tell whether people have good intentions or bad, and whether they are worth the try, and my compass is in an unhappy state at the moment, but maybe it's just a phase - I hope so.
I can tell when I have found a good friend, usually from the time it takes me to open up about peripheral issues (since I don't ever open up about my most secret issues), if they want to hear more and encourage me, genuinely, to find my true self. Also if I just want to be with them more, almost like a girl crush - if I look up to them or I feel like a good role model for them.

I like pliable minds and strong willed people, people who are willing to mould me and be moulded by me, I guess that's why it's so important for me to surround myself with good people - I don't want to be moulded by someone who will lead me into trouble.

Tumi blogs at http://nigerianarchitecture.blogspot.com/

Real Beauty

2010-01-26T18:09:00.001Z

Name: Catherine Hagan

Who is Catherine Hagan and what led to the creation of the Right to Rights Foundation (RTR)?

Catherine Hagan (everyone calls me Lady May; Catherine is what I use when I want to seem professional lol) is a 24 year old crazy, ambitious (some say over ambitious), different, fashion addict, free spirited , baby last (Ghanaian term for last child of parents), tough on the outside - softy on the inside young woman with two children - Right to Rights Foundation and The R'ajwa Company.

Okay, the Right To Rights Foundation story, I never get tired of telling it. 3 years ago I was in my last year at Temple University Japan Campus and I got into a special class- the Role of NGOs in Rural development - this class was two-fold: a normal semester of going to class and then after we were given an opportunity to go to India to work with Professor Swaminathan - you have to Google him, he is so AWESOME. You have to understand though, I have always had a humanitarian heart - growing up in Ghana, I used to volunteer at FIDA Ghana and FAWE Ghana chapter - before moving to Japan, I volunteered with Lifebeat in NYC and in Japan before the trip I was the president of Keep A Child Alive on campus. It was always in the grand plan that after I retire or sometime in the not so near future I was going to do something major to help Ghana or even Africa on the whole. BUT going to India gave me that wake up call like "what are you waiting for?" I remember we used to go to villages and stuff and on the bus ride back to our hotels and hostels I would just be crying (literally) to myself, because I felt so guilty that I had the great opportunity to be going to school in Tokyo - on a trip to India to help the less fortunate when deep down I knew people I grew up with in Ghana didn't have it half as good as I did.

That trip was HARD - but I managed to make the best out of it. I spoke to Professor Swaminathan about how I was feeling and he encouraged me to start doing something to help Ghana NOW, so when we returned to Tokyo - I founded Right To Rights foundation with the help of many people -- Geeta Mehta (the professor for the trip), Dean Patterson ( the dean for TUJ at that time), Christian G (very good friend) and of course my family.

That's how my child Right To Rights Foundation was born :)

What do you love most about being a Black woman?

The thing about being black to me is it makes me just feel powerful - not even just that my skin is black, but that I am from Africa - I mean I am from the poorest continent in the world and so far I haven't made anything stop me in anything I want to do. In the kind of work that I do (fashion and entertainment PR and Brand Collaborations) I have many traits that many people see as negative - I am a young black woman; but I manage to turn these negatives into positives and make them work for me

Young - some say lack of experience, I say, if I am 24 and I am having meetings with someone who is 45 and has 24 years of experience, imagine who I will be meeting with when I am 45.

Black - in this industry - the black ones are expected to be the rappers, musicians, video models etc. - and I am not even just black, I am AFRICAN...so you can imagine what they expect of me -- however this doesn't bother me at all. I work behind the scenes with the executives, management, etc.

Woman - this industry is not friendly - it is a BIG MAN'S industry...we always use the term "ballsy" because this is what you have to be to survive any meeting -- which is where my Gemini split personality comes in. I am the most friendly person in the world, always laughing - but when I go into meetings I become extra tough just to match the personalities of every other person.

This young black woman has clients including R&B artist Ne-yo, Chrisette Michele, Mario Winans, Ghanaian musician Sarkodie - designer Deola Sagoe who is going to be showing at NY Fashion week in 2 weeks. I have worked with the Ghana company Zoomlion too -- so it really isn't as bad as they would want you to think ;)

Apart from all these and not to sound too vain, physically, I LOVE MY LIPS and my smile - I think I get that from being black -- I think the only non-black person that has juicy lips is Angelina Jolie.

Also the attention I get in Japan from being black is just GREAT...lol

As part of it's work, RTR is involved with motivating Ghanaian girls. Why do you think it is important for girls to have self-love and aim high?

As girls, we have a lot of things going against us from birth and it's even worse if you are a girl from a third world nation.

Think about it - girls in general in developed and developing nations) mostly have issues with other girls, from jealousy to competition etc. and as if this isn't enough (and thanks to our hormones) we also have issues with guys from our adolescent stages till forever lol. In addition to this most third world countries view girls as less than men so the problems start from an early age. Due to all these reasons, it becomes very easy to lose yourself so I think as often as we can we have to motivate and inspire girls and remind them of how special they are...and the power really is within us no matter what anyone says.

Real Beauty

2010-01-18T12:59:00.002Z

Name: Cendrine Robinson
Was there a specific thing or event that led to yourself and your partners creating a fitness blog dedicated to black women?
I was motivated to start the blog after trying to lose weight on my own for about 2 months. I was reading a fitness magazine one day and realized how there are not many resources dedicated to women of color. I suggested to one my friends that we should start a magazine. We later decided to start a blog, she helped me come up with the name Nubian Fitness Goddess back in May 2008. Blogging has been rewarding to me, I have received great feedback from Women of Color.

What do you love most about being a black woman?
I love my curves! Even when I was overweight I loved my body shape. Most women believe that when you lose weight you will lose your curves, and in my experience that is not true.

Do you think there's a link between looking good and feeling good?
Absolutely, I feel better about myself when I know I am taking caring of my body (working out and eating healthy). I am getting my Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology so I definitely believe in the mindy-body connection.

Any fitness tips you'd like to leave us with?
My advice to women is to always make changes that you can stick to for life. That is one of the epiphanies I had before I started this blog. If you really want to keep the weight off and stay healthy you have to do more than crash diet for a few months. You can make small changes that have lasting effects like not eating after 8 p.m. and working out a couple of days a week.

Cendrine blogs at Nubian Fitness Goddess: A Black Woman's Journey to Physical Fitness.

Real Beauty

2010-01-10T13:15:00.001Z

Name: Christina Jones

What do you love most about being a black woman?

I love the fact that I have the opportunity to help create a positive view of the black family unit. So often, it seems that all we see and/or hear about, especially in the media, is the broken black home: absent father, drug-addict mothers, out of control kids, etc, and I'm tired of seeing that portrayed as the norm for black people. I feel that it’s up to me (and of course the rest of us who are starting families) to show the world that the Cosby’s aren’t the only “good” black family by doing my (our) best to raise intelligent, respectful, goal-oriented children, and to maintain strong, loving, successful marriages and/or relationships that will show the next generation the way healthy relationships should work, so that the positive cycle is continued.

Do you think motherhood has changed you?

Physically, definitely! I have a few extra pounds to work off, on top of the extra pounds I already had, but I’m going to turn that into a positive! I am interested in becoming a personal trainer, so the more I learn about creating a healthy lifestyle for myself, the more I can share with others later!
Also, it made me realize even more how much I loved and appreciated my natural hair! I had been natural for almost a year, and about a week before I gave birth, I relaxed my hair, out of frustration. I had tried to trim my own ends, and I messed my little fro ALL up. Now that the baby is here, I really, really, really miss being able to just wash my hair and go. I miss the fabulousness of my kinks. Straight hair doesn’t even feel right to me anymore, and it’s such a burden. And trust me, the LAST thing you want with a newborn baby is for your HAIR to be a burden! Im back in transition though, and will probably be cutting off the relaxed ends again this summer.
Motherhood (for me) also presented a large mental change. Even in the few weeks that my daughter has been here, I have found myself to be (surprisingly) more in-tune with my own needs. Before, I was all about doing everything that I could for everyone else, while neglecting my own goals, and being constantly wary of inconveniencing anyone. I realize now that unless I take care of myself, I won’t even be able to care for my family! If I’m run-down, sick and depressed, how does anything get done? How does the baby get fed, how does the laundry get done, how do I pass that test? IT DOESN’T HAPPEN! So, I had to slow down on being “Mrs. Everything” for everyone, and make sure that Christina (me) didn’t fall through the cracks.

Any insights into how you combine being a new mother, wife and businesswoman?

Honestly? I’m just now working towards being anything other than “Izzy’s Mom”! For the first two weeks after birth, everything was about her, because I needed to learn to take care of a baby while recovering from the birth. It wasn’t easy! I’ve chosen to breastfeed my daughter, and it honestly complicated what was already difficult, but now that we’re past the initial uncertainty and pain, things are going much more smoothly.
Now that I’ve started getting into the groove of things with the baby, and we have a handle on nursing, I’ve started to shift some of my focus back to my husband, and making sure that our relationship is good. Every night, after 7 (when he’s wrapped up his work for the day), we make sure to take that time to talk, laugh, play games, watch TV, etc, to connect with each other. Of course, we work around caring for Izzy, but that’s a permanent part of life now!
As far as my business goes, it’s on hold for a while! I had to make that decision late in my pregnancy, and that hiatus will probably extend into February. I hadn’t yet built it into something that really generated any income, so I’m ok with making sure that my familial duties are taken care of before I decide to pick it back up. It will be at least a year before I return to work or school though, so I’ll have time during the day to work on new purse and jewelry designs, once Izzy gets a little older and starts sitting up, playing, etc.

Read all about and follow Christina's journey as a new mom and wife on her blog, http://cjonesexclusives.blogspot.com/.

Real Beauty

2009-12-21T08:10:00.006Z

Name: Brianna McCarthy

Your girls (your art) are always so enchanting. It's interesting

that they're also natural. How important do you think natural hair is

to a black woman's identity?

Thank you! I think natural hair is about understanding, acceptance and

self-love. That’s not to say that women who don’t have natural hair

lack these things, it’s that so often we don’t appreciate our hair
because it doesn’t ascribe to a particular ideal of beauty – we want
to be like something else because we’ve been taught that what we have

is not good enough and that needs to change. It’s not a simple matter

of any woman of any race saying “I wish my feet were smaller”, it’s a

pervasive mindset that we need to be different, less Black, more
non-black – we struggle with our hair texture and skin colour and
there are a whole plethora of stereotypes that go along with those
things. All this to say, I love blackness, ethnicity, “mixedness”
that’s celebrated, loved and appreciated. I hope that there’ll come a
time when it won’t be necessary to even discuss this. It’s my hope

that my ladies illustrate women who simply are – ethnic pride, ethnic

understanding, acceptance of the diversity of humanity and strength.

Name an obstacle(s) that black women are presented with and how you think they can overcome that obstacle.

I think our biggest obstacle is how much we struggle with self esteem.

Of course that can't apply to everyone but it's the biggest problem I

see. Overcoming it, I believe, takes stepping into yourself, not

strictly as a Black woman but as a person, an entity who has much to

offer. I also think it takes a certain level of dismissing the he-say

and she-say, the extra opinions that have us constantly trying to

prove something. Just be your very best and love who you are.

What keeps you strong and motivated?...What keeps you going each day?

Faith. Knowing that I haven’t learnt even a quarter of what I need to learn. I tend to be an untrusting person; almost to a fault so I’d

like to see how that progresses as well. I enjoy finding out new

things – even when they come as hard lessons. Knowing myself,

cultivating sincerity and empathy in myself and seeking excellence in

what I decide to do. Fascinating, strong and extra-ordinary people are

also motivators. Day to day though, my strongest motivator has to be

that innate need to know, to find out, to have discourse about what

happens; I’m a talker, I talk about what bothers me, even if it’s

difficult because I’ve seen that there’s merit in honesty.

Brianna blogs at http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com/. Visit to see more of her work.

Real Beauty

2009-12-14T17:05:00.001Z

Name: *Mae*

Should hair be a big deal for black women? Is being a Naturalista important?

I definitely would not say that hair SHOULD be a big deal for black women because there are significantly more important issues facing us as black women. However, in the society in which we live, our hair is made to be an issue in regards to the fact that there are some people who do not believe it is "appropriate" or "professional" to wear our hair in a manner that is completely natural to us.

I believe that being knowledgeable about this issue and being confident in who you are as an individual is more important than just solely being a "naturalista". To be a confident and "real" black woman does not automatically mean that you have to be a naturalista as well. I myself made the transition to being a "naturalista" just several months ago and it really opened my eyes to just how uninformed people are about the beauty of having natural, healthy hair. I am proud of my decision to go natural but at the same time, I of course still respect others' decisions to relax their hair. I just hope that we as black women won't decide to not "go natural" because of what society has led us to believe in error about our own, beautiful, natural hair.

Name an obstacle(s) that black women are presented with and how you think they can overcome that obstacle.

An obstacle that stands out to me and hits close to home is our underrepresentation in the professional scientific and technical fields (STEM= science,technology,engineering and mathematics). I have a degree in Materials Engineering and am currently working on my Ph.D. in that area. I have been in this area of study for almost 7 years now and have not once been taught by a black woman. I can also count on my fingers how many fellow black women I've had in my classes. This really saddens me, but I've come to understand that this issue really stems from how kids are trained at a young age. Many of us as black girls had this notion while we were growing up that we were a "double minority" (being black and female) and thus automatically assumed we could only go so far because of that. I believe this is still perpetuated today to an extent and not enough role models are being presented at a young age to help inspire and encourage young black women to pursue their interests no matter what the majority of the population believe their success rate will be. As parents and as educators, I believe a strong focus needs to be placed on empowering our young black women to value themselves as talented, gifted individuals capable of achieving what they set out to accomplish. This really needs to begin in the home and be reinforced in the education system starting at a young age. A few encouraging words can make a world of difference, especially if they are coming from someone who can be looked up to. Change can be effected when we have a community of nurturing individuals and those that really care about the future of our young women. There are definitely more aspects to this issue that I wish I had the time to discuss, but I truly believe this would be a great start.

What keeps you strong and motivated?...What keeps you going each day?

God is the only constant in my life and it would be an understatement to say that He keeps me strong and motivated. When I look at the path my life has taken, I know it’s only by God's grace that I've made it to this point. It also helps that I have a God-fearing family that truly loves me and never hesitates to pray for me. At the same time, knowing that God created me with a unique purpose is motivation enough to keep going. I will admit it gets hard sometimes, but I also know that if God has a mission for me, He will also be quick to give me the tools, support and strength to see it through! : ) (Jeremiah 29:11)

Mae blogs at http://www.naturalchica.com/

Real Beauty

2009-11-16T11:54:00.003Z

Name: Anna Renee Onyewuchi

An obstacle we black women are presented with is poor access to preventive medicine. We are always the ones with more Cancers, and other diseases that can be helped or prevented if we had the proper access to information. A way we can overcome that obstacle is to be proactive and seek information! Go online, do research on certain diseases that may run in our families, etc.

I hated having a big butt! Even when I was younger and skinny, I thought I looked like an inverted q-tip! With maturity has come self-acceptance! I just don’t over-focus on my “problem area” and I relax and accept that God made me and He’s never wrong!

What I love most about being a black woman is my hair and its complete uniqueness! Only black women or women of colour have this tightly curled or kinky, nappy hair that defies gravity! Once the black woman accepts the thing about herself that she once rejected, then she becomes very beautiful- physically and spiritually and she radiates joy!

Real Beauty

2009-11-09T12:45:00.003Z

Name: Jemila Abdulai

I think the biggest obstacle black women are presented with is being labeled as one thing or the other and being placed in a box of either-ors. “You’re either beautiful, or you’re ugly.” “You’re either smart or you’re stupid.” “You’re either successful or you’re a failure.” That kinda thing. For the most part black women have been conditioned to view themselves as one thing or the other. Yet if we’re all perfectly honest with one another, nothing is solely in black and white. We’re more of a mix of things than one particular thing.

How to overcome that obstacle. Personally, I like a challenge. Normally when I get told “you cannot do this, or you cannot do that,” I’m enthused to do exactly what it is I ‘supposedly’ cannot do (with some thought, of course). With regards to how black women in general can overcome that particular obstacle, I think each of us needs to get to know ourselves. When you know yourself as one thing, and someone tells you you’re something else altogether, you’ll remind yourself about who you really are and who you’ve chosen to be. It’s also important that we share our experiences and thoughts with one another in a progressive manner. The more silent we become about each of our unique experiences, the more we’ll be left out of the equation. And the cycle continues.

Hmm. It’s funny, I know there have definitely been many times when I absolutely dislike my body, but at this very moment, I think (since I’m learning to embrace all of me) I’m pretty happy with where I’m at body wise. One thing I realized in the past was that I put on weight really easily…particularly when I was in school (don’t ask lol) or when I was stressed out. So basically, I lead an active life. Even when I don’t go to the gym regularly, I tend to walk a lot (and get lost in the process leading to more walking), I take home-cooked food to work, try to keep snacking to a minimal etc and this helps keep things in balance. I also had a thing with my hands and fingers for the longest time, because I thought they looked weird and crooked. But now, I’m like “hey, these fingers are special and have a divine purpose.” Quite the excuse huh? That doesn’t mean you should stare at my fingers the next time you see me. Lol. But seriously, I’ve learned to embrace those as well. With time and all of life’s trials I’m sure there’ll be other image hang-ups, but so long as I learn to embrace all of me at the end of the day, I think I’m in a pretty good place :-)

Being a Muslim woman in a society/world with many misconceptions concerning Islam, it means I have a lot more to prove…not only to myself, but to society as well. There are the general stereotypes about my being an African (black) woman. Couple it with the fact that I’m Muslim and it opens an entirely new can of worms since it means I’m part of not 1 or 2, but 3 minority groups. (woman, African, Muslim)

At the same time, I think it’s an excellent opportunity for me to reach out to at least those three groups of people in the world. I can talk about women’s issues, African issues and Islamic issues without necessarily feeling like I don’t have a ‘right’. All in all, I love the mix of identity and the intercultural dynamics that being a black Muslim woman brings :-)

People tend to be surprised when they find out I’m Muslim. Even some friends. Why? I guess it goes back to the issue of labeling women as one thing or the other. Some actually expected a fully veiled, dark robed woman who keeps her thoughts to herself. With me, they get the exact opposite, but that’s the beauty of Islam. You can be regarded as not part of the ‘norm,’ and you will still find your niche in the religion. Sometimes it takes time to determine what that niche is with all the suggestions and demands of society and even well-meaning friends and family. For me, being a Muslim woman has more to do with the inside and less to do with the outside (especially with all the classifications going on). Additionally, I try to embody some of the teachings of the Holy Qu’ran – being kind to others in need, sharing knowledge, being patient etc. Inshallah one day I’ll be able to take on more of the responsibilities of being a Muslim woman, but for now, I’m taking it a day at a time, and thanking Allah for the opportunity.

Real Beauty

2009-11-01T23:07:00.004Z

Name: Adomah Ofosu-Appiah

I've had the opportunity to interact with black women in three pretty distinct cultures- Ghanaian, British and American. I think that black women face slightly different obstacles in each. In my humble opinion, I believe that Ghanaian women have to deal with the sometimes burden of appearing “respectable” in the eyes of common Ghanaian society and this can sometimes hinder creativity and the opportunity to really find oneself.

British black women are the most liberal to me. I feel there's less pressure to adhere to a certain mould of the “black woman”. This may be because there is not the same history of slavery and its consequences that has affected American black women. Don't get me wrong, black women in England have to deal with stuff too. Even though I feel there is more acceptance of interracial dating in England, I feel black Brits tend to be exoticised and placed in the realm of the “Other” far too commonly.

American black women, to me, deal with numerous obstacles. Firstly, they don't tend to occupy the higher end of the socio-economic scale (with a few notable exceptions). Also, if they are successful in their chosen field, they tend to have to fight against the common belief that it was due to affirmative action or other such “quota-filling” reasons. They are often caricatured in the media and other outlets, as overweight, uneducated, 3-baby daddy- having failures. Thankfully, many black women are on a mission to undermine this stereotype and I believe that the tide is slowly turning. Having said that, I still think the general American public has different expectations of African-American women and black women from other countries. I believe that black women from other countries are stereotyped far less than their American counterparts.

My main body hang-up is I could definitely stand to lose some weight. Not even primarily for aesthetic reasons but I know that it's just straight up unhealthy to be the size that I am. So I'm now working on avoiding type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and all the other things associated with being overweight. My other hang up is that I've had alopecia areata since I was about 14 and it's been the single most restricting thing for me physically. I'm blessed because it mainly affects the back and sides of my hair so I'm fully aware that I could have had it a LOT worse. However, I hate being restricted to certain hairstyles and it prevented me from having natural hair. I've been complaining to all my friends who'll listen about the fact that I can't indulge my burning desire to shave my hair off! I think I could rock it...

There are numerous fantastic things about black women, from our skin, to our hair, to our bodies. However, the single best thing about black women is our unending reserves of strength. We are constantly evolving and changing in order to adapt to the challenges of life. And we do it with so much style to boot!

Real Beauty

2009-10-26T07:26:00.001Z

Name: Zainab Adam

For me, everything is special about being a Black woman.
I'm very grateful for how my creator has designed me. I wouldn't want to have lived life any other way.

It's been a whole year since my last relaxer and I'm now completely natural. The transition was such a reckoning for me; it didn't only affect my physical appearance but it impacted the mechanisms of my self image and spirit. I felt a shift in self-esteem. My natural hair empowers me and gives me confidence to stand out from others.

Another thing that makes me extremely proud to be a black woman is my voice. As an instrumentalist and vocalist I draw so many influences from black performers and entertainers who have set trends and paved the way for other black artists to freely express themselves without boundaries. I owe a lot to the likes of Gladys Knight and Erykah Badu.

I love everything about my beautiful body from my complexion to my curves, including my imperfections, that's what makes me me.
I'm of a petite stature so people tend to think I am a lot younger than I really am. It's annoying at times but I just think of how lucky I'll be 20 years down the line.

I'm from West Africa, Nigeria. I was born in Kano but was raised in London. I was fortunate enough to live in Nigeria for 3 years between the ages of 14 and 17. I learnt more than I ever did in the entire span of my life whilst there. I embraced a culture which once seemed so foreign to me. I now own it. I learnt to speak my dialect and of my rich heritage. It was an experience that has changed my future.
I look forward to going back to settle there in my old age because it's where I belong. It's home.

Blame it on the nagging wife

2009-10-22T18:32:00.000+01:00

Here's an interesting article I found in The Southern Times: Nagging wives fuel HIV. It's written by a male lecturer in the University of Namibia's Biological Sciences dept. He calls nagging wives a new species and I wonder why he would think that. I don't think the relationships between men and women have changed much over the years. Least of all in terms of what some men see as nagging. I don't know what kind of research he conducted into the causes of the spread of HIV/AIDS but blaming it on a nagging wife is long stretch.

Real Beauty

2009-10-19T08:42:00.003+01:00

Name: Amah Essie Bartels

I can't talk for all Black women; however, I believe my experiences in life have made me special. I left Ghana as a young black woman to pursue an education in Business in the States. I ended up also studying in France and then working with a well-known Japanese company. I therefore speak 3 international languages, English, French and Japanese. My experiences with different cultures, including mine, I believe, make me a special black woman.

I would say my hangups would be that I used to be very athletic in High School and after I left school, I haven't had a good exercise regiment. If I can get back to that, I would be much healthier than I am.

When I was growing up, I was teased a lot because even though majority of Ghanaians are dark, I was much darker. I used to hate my skin. However, growing up, I have really learned to appreciate my largest organ and I get so many compliments on it and I have countless numbers of friends asking what skin care I use.

Real Beauty

2009-10-11T22:51:00.002+01:00

Name: Ramy Oduro

To quote James Brown: "I'm black and Proud!" and loving it!
Being a black woman in today's world is an advantage many people do not realise. Everyday, black women around the world are changing the status quo, trying to make a better future for their children.

I love being black mainly because lots of white people come up to me everyday and compliment me on my amazing skin! lol. I love being a black woman because I know I don't have to worry about wrinkles when I'm 70. I love being a black woman because I have a rich heritage and a promising future.

Black women are noted for having curvaceous bodies and my one hangup is the fact that i have a flat butt! I have learned to accept it, but chale it was not funny when I was the brunt of teasing! I am glad to say, however, that the butt is growing small, small lol! and on the whole, I am pleased with my body. Like I tell all the guys, "Love it or hate it, it's a package, take it or leave it!"

Real Beauty

2009-10-04T23:21:00.001+01:00

Name: Michelle Ayeh

What I love about being Black: My butt. Honestly I feel blessed to have a black woman's butt. I know it sounds vain but I feel like if I wasn't black I wouldn't have this 'back'...lmao! I have a really small frame, I'm like what? A size 0? I'm ideally shapeless, but my black mom blessed me with hips and a butt, and I think its my compensation for being so darn small. The ideal African girl is a thick size 6 (US) or more...well I fall far from the norm, but I am happy with the way I am I guess...

As a Black person, I feel blessed to be African, to have a heritage I can trace all the way to my ancestors, not everyone in the Diaspora can do that. My proof is my language. The ability to speak the language of my forefathers is a plus. I believe its the substance of my roots. I couldn't speak it at first but I forced myself to learn it because it's what makes me so African, or else what's the difference between me and another black person?

What I would change about my body: My breasts would be way bigger...my eyes a little lighter and my hair natural and long! (but I guess I can do that myself yeah??)

Real Beauty

2009-09-28T15:57:00.003+01:00

Name: Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah

What does it mean to you to be a black woman?

Wow, that’s a deep question, being black means a lot and so does being a woman.

To my understanding the term “black” is a political one which derived out of civil rights struggles primarily within the United States. The term “black” is a social and political construct to unify all people of colour. Being black means being knowledgeable about racism, colonisation and pan-Africanism. Being black also puts you in a position of tremendous responsibility – it means you also have to be an activist and agitate against a host of issues which affect the African continent and black people across the globe. What you choose to be active about depends upon your location and your passion. But you have to be an activist.

Being a woman means I have to be a feminist. I cannot be a woman and be unaware of the social construction of femininity and womanhood. I cannot be a woman and fail to recognise that society tries to limit women’s potential. I cannot be a woman and fail to recognise that women are predominantly affected by violence, HIV/AIDS and poverty. To be a black woman means that I need to recognise all these challenges and deal with them in a positive manner. It means I do not always take on board society’s messages. It means I focus on my personal and professional development. It means I surround myself with people who care for me. It means I make a difference wherever I can.

What, if anything, would you change about your body if you had the chance?

I am ashamed to admit that if there was anything I could change about my body it would be to lose another stone and to have an absolutely clear complexion. I am ashamed especially of the former desire. I started reading Naomi Wolf’s “The Beauty Myth” because I want to re-educate myself about body weight – I recognise the myth of equating slimness with beauty yet it is one that I still fall victim to. I currently weigh about 10 stones and 7 pounds and wear a UK size 12 yet a few months ago I was about 7 pounds heavier and wore a UK size 14 and what grief I got. I had an Auntie tell me “Oh no, you need to do something about your weight”. I had a salsa teacher tell me “If you don’t lose weight soon you will be stuck in that chair”. I couldn’t fit into my clothes but what bothered me the most was people’s comments. I know I shouldn’t be bothered but I was and I am.

About wanting clear skin; I have harmless lesions on my face, the medical word for it is “syringomas”. The syringomas started when I was 18. There is absolutely nothing that can be done about it. I have seen dermatologists and even a plastic surgeon about it but all the professionals think it is best to leave well alone. I have gotten accustomed to the syringomas but oh my goodness from time to time people irritate me by asking “why have you got spots on your forehead”, “when you undo your hair (I cannot undo my hair, it is in dreadlocks) you should come for dandruff treatment, that is why you have the spots, you have dandruff”. Do you see why I would wish for clear skin? I have some adorable friends though who insist the syringomas are cute and look like freckles.

What do you love about being a black woman?

I love being me. I love being Ghanaian, African and Black. I love being a woman and a feminist. I love that we have strong family support systems. I love the sisterhood and solidarity between black women. I love that West African women have a strong sense of autonomy and entitlement. I love that I have Aunties, Sisters and Grandmothers who are an inspiration and role models. I love my black sisters in the diaspora. I love my black woman writers – Ama Ata Aidoo, Maya Angelou, Alice Walker, Pregs Govender...I love my sisters who are blogging the world over (like you Abena).

Nana blogs at http://www.adventuresfrom.com/
Photo taken by Nana Kofi Acquah (http://www.nanakofiacquah.blogspot.com/)

Guest Post: WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A BLACK LESBIAN by Cabinfever

2009-09-23T22:36:00.002+01:00

I created a YouTube channel and dubbed the title 'Life of a black lesbian stud (UK)', I was inspired by the title from another YouTube user who had the same name except the 'stud' and the 'UK'. I cannot say I have ever felt connected to the title as my aim was simply to allow others into my world, it meant more to me that I was a black Jamaican in a predominately white country. I was more concerned with what it meant to be just black and what difficulties I would encounter.

In Jamaica I have seen how women are seen as sex objects and treated with little or no respect. To not entertain their strong advances is to be coined as a lesbian, to be called a gay man was even worse. This was downright nasty and unnatural, against the teachings of the Bible, a one way ticket to hell.

Women were raped mainly because they were seen as being weak; being a lesbian was just another reason for them to do it. Men received the worst treatment in my opinion. Some were stoned at the feet of policemen, some burned to death and some had their family pay for the rumors-yes rumors for they were not always true- all in the name of being a homosexual. This is what I grew up seeing, women having to hold their ground and gay men being mistreated and killed.

I cannot tell you what it means to be a lesbian black woman for I have never walked the curve, I have only stood at my window and watch helplessly at others fighting off men or carrying scars of being raped.

Being a 'lesbian' black woman is like having a degree in the 21st century, common and makes little or no difference. What sets you apart is your sheer determination to overcome the color spectrum, the gender difference and to paint your skin with your soul and be an 'Individual'.

Cabinfever's blog may be found at http://transmantorealman.blogspot.com/ and her YouTube vlog at http://www.youtube.com/user/cabinfever86.

Real Beauty

2009-09-21T15:14:00.002+01:00

I'm so pleased to finally be able to start this feature! Here's my very first real beauty, my Beauty of the Week:

Name: Rachel Apraku

What I love about being Black:...knowing that because of my skin I won't wrinkle terribly just makes my day....lol. I think black is beautiful and has a strength to it that people don't realize. It's a blessing really.

Body hang-ups: I hate my protruding stomach but I blame that on the bowls of rice and sugar bread. No honestly...physically, I love that I got the black girl curves...it goes a long way when walking down the street. Internally, I like that fact that I am such a calm, understanding person...I am not one to make rush judgements about people.

I think Black women should stop being ashamed of their skin, especially the darker girls like me. It's beautiful and God made us so dark for a purpose. Even when people say "you are so dark you should do something about it" as I've so often heard, look them in the eye and tell them to go to hell...in a nice way of course. Be secure in who you are or else no one will take you seriously. Amen!

The Oversexed Black Woman

2009-09-09T20:35:00.003+01:00

Over the years and especially as a student of Black Feminism, I've encountered many different ideas about Black sexuality associated with various countries and peoples: Black women don't have enough sex, we have too much sex, we're boring about it, etc. but the most common perception that is addressed by authors is that Black women are 'oversexed'.

The image of the Black woman as Jezebel dates back to the colonial days when Black women were forced to satisfy their slavemasters and other male slaves, and is frequently and indirectly used to justify assault against Black women. Rapists say things like 'she was asking for it'. Statements such as this stem from the Jezebel stereotype. Jezebel (found in 1&2 Kings) was queen of the northern kingdom of Israel during Ahab's reign. She was rich and cultured and not only practised witchcraft (2 Kings 9:22) but was also a prostitute.

Living outside Africa and never having visited it or had any connections to it, you may be used to seeing those photos of African women of certain tribes, butt naked, but for the beads around their waists and hanging on string between their breasts, as they go about their daily lives. Or the photos of young girls at their puberty rites (Bragro in Ghana, for example), baring their breasts as they announce themselves to their communities as newly marriageable women. Images like these reinforce the idea of the Black woman as wanton, promiscuous and sinful and this has extended to Black women everywhere. As bell hooks said, if a Black woman's body is not presented as available, accessible and 'sexually deviant', then it is not desirable.

Black women having this image of being sinfully sexual/sexually sinful and so basically 'rapeable' means that we're also more vulnerable to various forms of violence, including rape. The fact that Black women are either busty, bootylicious, both or just generally have very luscious bodies is not license for anyone, anywhere to view them as ready and willing to spread their legs at the drop of a hat or somehow be begging for sex even when our lips clearly spell out N-O!

As for the idea of Black women being oversexed, it's about as true as those that assume that we are undersexed, sexually boring or more willing to do 'naughty' things in the bedroom...I don't see how we could be different from any White woman. Over on Adventuresfrom.com, I read a funny post mentioning that some of their readers were complaining about their content not being 'African' enough. If nothing else is universal, surely sex must be.

The Black Jezebel is evident in the objectification of Black women in hiphop music videos as well as many movies and no doubt in everyday life. Do you believe there are differences in the way Black and White/Asian/Latino women are viewed sexually? If so, how? Would you say Black women are oversexed?

Sources: http://www.julietdavis.com/WST383/sellinghotpussy.pdf

Photo sources: http://z.hubpages.com/u/262204_f520.jpg, http://www.popculturepost.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/italian-vogue-all-black-issue-72308-41.jpg